i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
