I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
