Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
