yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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