I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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