yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
