I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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