Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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