I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
