Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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