Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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