I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize