It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
