Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
