Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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