so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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