Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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