I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
