wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
