Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
