Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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