We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
