i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
