Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
