Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
