PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
