Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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