hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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