I just made out with a guy for $7.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
