who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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