oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
