i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
