Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize