If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
