You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize