Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
