I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
