we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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