Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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