we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you never un-have a 4some
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
