Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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