OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize