There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
