i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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