do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
