I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
