Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
