I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
