shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
