Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
