when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
