no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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