So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We left the knife in your bed.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
