If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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