Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
