Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
