the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
