i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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