i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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