You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize