I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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