i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
