Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
