whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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